Tuesday, August 14, 2012

"It's only temporary"

This has become my new catch phrase for our life lately.
No one tells you how hard life can be. In many ways. I've always been one to stay positive no matter what the situation and try to remind myself that others have it way worse than me. But here is my life as of now.

We live in Fort Mcmurray. My husband works a 10 and 4 shift. (10 days on and 4 off) He is going to school on October 1st for the LAST TIME to get his ticket. Hallelujah. We have 4 beautiful girls and a good size rent payment. We want to buy a house but we want to wait until Dustin is done school so we can afford what we need, and not some tiny starter home. I think it's about time I deserve a "home". I've never felt at home. I have never felt like we've been home. I live a very disorganized life in a tiny townhouse with 3 bedrooms. I try my hardest but I've actually come to the conclusion it's impossible to stay organized and have a clean house! I'm ok with that. Well sort of...

As soon as Dustin gets his ticket, many doors will open for him and this is what is keeping me going. Dustin has now started doing a lot of side work. Pretty much he walks in the door around 6ish, eats, sometimes showers and goes to another job and doesn't get home until 10-11 at night then showers again. I have also started to get super busy with my photography which I am super excited and overwhelmed (in a good way) with the amount of emails I get to book with me. It's an awesome feeling. So if I have a session, Dustin gets home, I go shoot, then come home and he leaves for a job.

We try hard to get some us time to go on dates etc. But lately it kinda sucks. I feel like a single mom and i'm trying to do it all and keep my head above water with the housework/kids/errands/cooking etc... And try to have a fun summer with the kids! I know this is only TEMPORARY so we can afford to live off no income while he's in school and i'm SO beyond grateful we have the opportunity for all this work.
I was talking to a friend and she said she was talking to her friend who just moved from here and she said we don't realize how good we have it in Fort Mac. There are so many people who are having a hard time finding work that we are so lucky. I totally agree. I can't believe the opportunity there is up here for us, or for anyone.
I miss my husband every night. Thank goodness I have editing, my shows (Love my shows!), and my sisters to talk to on the phone to keep me occupied but I think the hardest part is running our life on my own. I can not wait for school to be over and we can move on from this step of life!
I'm nervous but so excited to move forward with my photography. I have so many things I want to accomplish with it and i'm ready to do that. To finally do something for myself! I've been wanting to do something for myself for a long time. I LOVE being a mom but I needed something to define me as an individual. I did go to hair school but I don't have a desire to go back to that. So now I finally found something I love to do. I know every one is doing it, but it's something I love so I don't care! We'll see where it takes me!

Man it feels go to let it all out! I'm done now.



Brandon and Kristy said...

dont blog like this i get too emotional! dang you. I cant wait for you to get a house and some more husband time. you have been so patient. love you lots!! its just around the corner!! Your doing great!!! xoxo

The Harker Family said...

Ah LOVED this post Mindy! Man don't I know the feelings you described. Life is HARD and I love your saying "It's only temporary". I'm going to remind myself of that too. Thank you! You are a FABULOUS mom, and a real hot mamma too! Lol! Keep up the awesome work!!! You're doing amazing! Love ya!!!!

jennifer anderson said...

you guys look so young!

Kersher said...

Mindy, everything you posted is so raw and real...most Moms/Wives feel that way no matter how big or small the house, or two kids to four kids. Keep on going girl, you are so talented and creative!! Wishing all the success and happiness! Remember to enjoy the "little" things too. The girls will be big so soon...
Anytime you are in town please let us know what we can do to help. GB!

Studio K Photography said...

I just now read this post and have soo sooo much to tell you..both from the mom and phitography perspectives..but Im too lazy to type it all on my phone..lolMaybe tomorrow when I am back at my computer.Hang in thete girl...Trust me..I have been to Beyond overwhelmed and back...a few times..to where it was scary ...and not good for anyone.It happens to most women at some point I think...and remember saying no to a few things .. including srssions is not a bad thing. You are a great mama and while you need a girl and you thing..your girls need you.Dont forget that. It hit home when one of my girls said all she ever saw was the back of my head at a computer.Put your have tos on the calender first..then the want to time with hubby..Then schefule in your photo appts..if not you will take on more than you can handle...Trust me on this one.As for the organized...there is only one you and still only 24 hours..so just decide if immacculate home or happy kids or one more photo session is the priority."Cleaning the house while the children are growing.is like shovelling the sidewalk while its still snowing." Or.. my davorite..ahouse needs to be clean enough to be healthy..but dirty enough to be happy.As far as the starter house goes...get what you can trult afford(while saving for college..food storage..rainy day...emergency..car repair..etc..)not what the bank says your paycheck can afford...unfortunately..sometimes jobs ate temporary too and so dont get in over your head..big Fort Mac paychecks or not...Thats what we are counselled right?.and..unfortunately starter homes are where we start..lol.Well..you felt better when you were done..me too.lol.That is my honest..been married for 24years of advice..Hugs and Hang in there...life is to be enjoyed not just endured.