Monday, June 07, 2010

Crap.

I swear the DAY Kyla turned two, she changed into this little miss attitude. I was like, "where did my sweet girl, who listened to everything I say go?!" She was SO stubborn! She never stayed in her time outs on the stairs, or anywhere. Ever. It came to the point where I had to lock her in her room for my sake and her safety! I'd have to have my housecoat tied from her door to the bathroom door. She would NOT calm down, and she'd scream and kick the door. Hard. There were numerous phone calls to Dustin with me in tears, not knowing what to do. I went over and over about what to do, I tried a million things, I can't even remember them though. Dangit. But some days I just wanted to beat her. Don't judge me, you all know what I am talking about!

I even tried spanking when I thought it called for it, but that didn't even phase her and it hurt me more than her. Actually one time I tried swatting her and she was freaking out and whipping everywhere I missed and bent my finger really bad and actually thought I broke it. Remember this? Ya that's what REALLY happened. That doesn't make me look like an abusive mother at all.......

So that was a hard time to get through and she is still really stubborn and has a hard time listening. Which I assume is normal for most kids. I got her figured out pretty well now, but man she still drives me nuts sometimes.

Breathe Mindy Breathe.

So I thought I was blessed. My twins would sit on the bottom stair for their timeout and would STAY. They wouldn't move until I said, "ok go give so and so a hug and say sorry" and they would! It was pure joy. I loved timeouts. I felt like I actually had control. It was awesome. WELL, don't get too excited Mindy because it's all crap, a huge load of crap. Jayci and Presley throw tantrums which is whatever. I would just sit them on the stair and they would stay, the were freaking out, but they would stay until I said. Until last week..... I had a minor panic attack. I sat her down (her being one of the twins, I can't remember who though) and she flails off the stair rolling around on the floor and then gets up and runs away! I tried to put her back like 4 times and she kept doing it. Finally I gave in. Bad idea I know. Remember don't judge me. And this happened all week with both of them. No one was listening or staying or hugging with kisses. All my order had went out the window. What. the. crap.

They DID just turn 2. Weird.

So on Saturday I was sick and Jayci was throwing a tantrum because her and Presley were fighting and I put her in a timeout because she was the one hitting. Dustin was gone because he took Kyla for a little bike ride. So I said, that's it, I'M winning this time. So I sat her down and held her there. She was freaking out and I was sick and didn't want to fight so I picked her up and took her to her room and shut the door. She was screaming and kicking and hitting the door.

It was like a dejavu nightmare! No, No, No! I do not want to be doing this again with two of them!

I just need to be firm and stick to it. I watched Dr. Phil and he had a lady on there who wrote a book on Parenting I actually want it really bad. It's called The Big Book of Parenting. Super good. And she said why do we count to 3? Why do we give them that chance, they should just learn to do it the first time you ask. So i've been trying to do that and it actually is true. Why count to 3? Just do it when mom says! She said that moms give in because it's the easy route. I totally understand that. It's less stressful for US. I agree. Just things you don't think about, and she has a great way of parenting. Anyways I can't wait to get it. I really want it.

What works for your kid(s)? I love to hear how other people parent, it just gives me a different view of it. I love it. So share away!

Kyla I need help with too, she pesters the little girls and they are crying and freaking out because she is bugging them. So I get mad at her and she just laughs at me. Seriously.

Please pray for me, actually pray for the kids. Who knows how long they'll be alive.


13 comments:

The Pratts said...

Okay, we are totally on the same wavelength today! i am actually in the middle of writing a post about how I think we're finally getting OUT of the terrible two's with Cohen! But his started at 18 months, I don't really have any advice other than to be consistent with whatever your method is....and really it's just a waiting game till they grow out of it. Good luck!

Mindi said...

Hmm.I can't give you much,but I do know that you can't count to 3.You are right there.Stand your ground tho with the time outs.Eventually they will see that you can go just as long as them.Watch SuperNanny.Maybe start a rewards chart for your older girl. Whenever she does something good to help with the twins, give her a sticker. So many stickers equals a prize of some sort. If she bugs her sisters, take away a sticker. It will teach her that she needs to do good.

Megan said...

I really like this blog: http://askingjane.blogspot.com

People ask questions to an LDS mother of 11. Her approach is to treat the kids with love and teach them how to govern themselves. I also recommend any books by Linda and Richard Eyre. They are an LDS couple who have 9 kids. I haven't read much of their stuff, but I think it's a similar philosophy.

I don't do time-outs because I know I don't really like it. It makes me feel like I'm training a pet more than raising a child.

I also like the book Playful Parenting. I don't remember who wrote it. Anyway. Good luck with all that. It's a good thing that kids are cute, it sure is hard to stay mad at them long!

TheMendenhalls said...

Oh my. Well I have no advice, but that sounds very stressful. I'm sure you'll find something that will work for your family. Good luck!

kelsey said...

ha. sorry, but i had to laugh because what mom can't see herself in this post? i don't like many parenting books, because they are all about controlling your child, which i don't believe in. the one book that i LOVE is "Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child" by Dr. John Gottman. I studied this book in my parenting class, and it just made sense to me. I HIGHLY recommend reading it. Also, "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" is a great book/dvd you could watch. It seems silly, but it also seems to work wonders. I haven't used it with Norah yet, but am starting to think I should. . . lol.

I decided there are some things you can just let go, but others you have to be firm with. We chose to not let Norah get away with hitting or throwing. If she does it, we hold her with her nose in the corner for 10 seconds. It doesn't seem like a long time, but I think she's too young to understand much longer than that. It's still a daily battle sometimes, and you are right, it's SO EASY to just not do anything, especially for me right now being pregnant. Sometimes I just look at her and hope she stops! ha.

Don't beat the girls, I've been told they will grow out of it, and I am like you, I pray every single day to be more patient in my parenting. Let us know what works for you.

Arrington's said...

I'm sorry. Nothing insightful to share but I will give you lots and lots of sympathy....:)

The Harker Family said...

Mindy you are too awesome! I love it! Any mom who says they have never felt frustrated with their kids is either a) lying; b)not from this planet; or c) just way too perfect! Ha!

Camden sounds IDENTICAL to Kyla. I read every book that existed, and this one was the ONLY one that worked (about giving children choices to empower them). It is Called "Love and Logic" by Jim Faye and Charles Fay. It is the best book I have ever, ever read. My husband's sister-in-law told me about it. Apparently every mom in Utah has read it. I think the authors are LDS too. If you buy one book, buy this one. It was the only thing that worked for Camden :

http://www.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Dmf4Y8tZQis/SEQJYGbOhCI/AAAAAAAABMY/HBeNaTXm6Dc/s320/love%2Band%2Blogic.jpg&imgrefurl=http://karenstips.blogspot.com/2008/06/parenting-with-love-logic.html&usg=__UEIruqRBhH2ON-ZTurRhECFlgSc=&h=240&w=240&sz=18&hl=en&start=7&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=xyMfrnjxkygyVM:&tbnh=110&tbnw=110&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dlove%2Band%2Blogic%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dsafari%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Den%26tbs%3Disch:1

They also have a website with tons of other books:

http://www.loveandlogic.com/

Ashley said...

Oh Mindy. I totally don't judge whatsoever. Trust me, I think all mother's have been there. If not, at least I know you have too! I was lucky that Aubrey skipped the "terrible two" stuff but about 2 months before she turned 3 she turned into this little nightmare. I do always give her warnings and I count to three, but I also saw that Dr. Phil and I agree with the not doing it, but I have a hard time not giving the warnings! I should get that book too. Anyway, good luck! And let me know if you figure something out that works!!

Randy and Capri Bird said...

Oh my. I totally feel the SAME way. Wyatt is starting to do the same thing. He WILL not take a nap, but he falls asleep at like 4. Then he won't go to bed when I want him to. He throws fits...you know the drill. What is that book? What did she say we should do? We will all get through this, I know it. Just be greatful that you dont have a newborn while you are going through all of this ;)

the fellers said...

oh my gosh, you just described my life to the T! That is exactly how Rylee is, time out does not work for her, and I Feel like I put her there OVER AND OVER AND OVER.....ugh...she drives me crazy crazy CRAZY! I wish I knew what worked...especially cause she just started biting....

Megan LePard said...

k i needed to hear this big time!! Gavin(18mo) is a monster!! he throws the biggest fits ever and i've been so stressed on what to do...he does it all - kicks bites screams hits slaps throws pinches...everything. So...thanks for posting this and all the advice people gave! It's nice to hear that i'm not the only one having this problem!

Rhiannon Nicole said...

HAHAHA Mindy I am laughing here but wish I could just reach through the computer and hug you :) As for me, oh man I don't know, I don't have my own kids and the kids I work with who are 1, 2 and 3, well I return them to their parents after their class :) Stay strong gorgeous!!! Skinny minny ;) xo

Shelly said...

I feel bad for you Mindy but I have to admit I laughed out loud when I read about tying the housecoat to the bathroom and bedroom door! That's awesome! Good luck with the girls...I can tell right now that with Ally's personality I will be there sooner rather than later. Then I can ask you for advice since you'll be a pro by then :-)

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