All good things come to an end I guess

I have been so lucky so far this pregnancy. I was sick in the beginning but not "kill me now sick", I survived and i've had worse so I couldn't really complain. I had a little cramping at the start but that went away on it's own and other than that things have been pretty dang good and the whole second trimester was amazing. I was so looking foward to go full term (well at least close to it) and delivering up here with an easy "oh look, my water broke, lets get our things together, maybe have a shower, get the kids to Jill's and drive to the hospital" where a couple hours later we deliver our healthy baby.

Looks like our luck has run out. On Saturday night around 5pm I started having some "cramps". Nothing too serious, just something I knew was a little more than Braxton Hicks and they wouldn't go away. Dustin came home from work and made me go to bed. I had them through the night and around 4am, they were gone. Thank goodness. I hate jumping to the worst case scenario and so all day the next day (yesterday) I was good and just sat on my butt all day relaxing. Well as much as I can with the 3 girls and didn't cramp at all.

Then this morning around 5am, when our lovely children decide it's time to get up, I was awake in bed while Dustin got them cereal and stuff. He's awesome like that and always gets up with them. I started feeling the cramps again. Not too bad but enough for me to realize I need to go in and see what's going on. So Dust stayed home and we took the kids to Jills and we headed to the hospital.

Long story shorter.... I was having some tightenings showing on the monitor, enough to cause for concern, so they hooked me up to IV to get some fluids in me. The doctor came in, checked me, thank goodness I was still fully closed and long etc, pretty much still good. But he was really worried given my history and told me it's likely i'll have this baby by 34 weeks and he doesn't see me making it to 35 weeks to be able to deliver up here. My heart sank. I went from being the happy positive girl with no worries to complete stress in a couple minutes. They did a swab to see if I will go into labour within the next two weeks or not (I know, weird eh?) and thank goodness it came back negative. I didn't even know a test like that existed. So it's 98% accurate she said so that gives me some hope. The doctor kind of freaked me out though, I know it's a huge chance he is taking by saying that but I guess it's their job to be prepared for worse case. So he now wants me on strict bed rest, and only to get up to go to the bathroom. Right. I have little 3 kids that's pretty much, um, impossible! Oh also no going up stairs. ha ya right. So he gave me the steroid shot to help develop the babies lungs quicker, just to be safe and I have to go for the other one tomorrow. I'm glad for that. I had to get that with the twins too, and they were 7 weeks early and didn't have to spend any time on the breathing machine, so I totally think it helps.

So the thing that concerns me is the "contractions" I was feeling are the exact ones that put me into labour both times with the twins. It was like dejavu and I dilated with those back then, so that's what makes me worried. They aren't painful or super strong but enough to obviously cause change. So as of today i'm on bed rest. Wonderful.

Dustin has 5 days off starting on Friday until Tuesday and then my mom and maybe grandma are planning on coming up for a couple weeks and then my sister Britt after that. So that buys me almost 5 weeks. That would take me to 35 weeks and that would be amazing. Dustin can't really take any more work off because he doesn't get paid leave and we are still trying to catch up for school and obviously prepare for baby, so I am so grateful for family and amazing friends who have already stepped up to offer help with meals etc.

So i'm trying to stay positive but i'm so worried at the same time. I was totally fine in the hospital and didn't want to let it get to me but as soon as I got home I broke down. I can only be so strong and I told myself, it's ok to cry and I really needed to cry. It was just a lot to take in in a day and I was a little overwhelmed. I hate having to ask for help and I hate being the needy one, so here I am again in this position of needing it. It's definitely humbling. I don't want to deliver a preemie again, and I don't want to see my baby in the hospital. Going through that once, is enough. My husband is amazing, he came home, got the kids in bed and cleaned the house up and started doing a ton of laundry. I love him. I also got a blessing tonight, i'm so grateful for the knowledge of priesthood power and that I have a husband I can rely on in times like this. Ok I am kind of an emotional wreck writing this, so maybe I should stop.

I was planning on taking a belly picture today for you all but that kind of got put on the back burner. Obviously. I guess it'll have to be tomorrow. I love all of you who support me, even from far away. Thanks in advance for all the love and support to come, it means the world to me. I know we can do this. 5 weeks isn't that long, so lets pray it flies by.

I always tell myself, it could always be worse, and this helps me through the hard times because I always think someone has it harder than me and to be grateful for what I have.