Real

As amazing as my life is, it's a lot of work. These are a few struggles i've been trying to cope with lately.

My 3 older girls fight a lot. It drives me crazy! Like I really am going crazy. I seriously need a whistle because I feel like a referee all day and it's EXHAUSTING. I'm starting to feel like the worst mom alive because I feel like i'm ALWAYS getting mad at someone, or yelling so loud just to be heard! You know what I mean if we've talked on the phone...

My husband works a retarded shift, 11 on, 3 off. Yup worse than the 10 and 4 he was on before. Luckily it's only days, but it's a lot. I'm pretty used to it now though. I go to church every other week by myself with the girls, and ballet with all of them. Both are early mornings and now that it's winter, it's more fun.... Get up early and shower (in order to even wake myself up), get everyone dressed (they are the slowest children in the world I think!), get myself ready, get their hair done, pack diaper bag, feed them, start van, bundle them all up, haul them all out to the van, crawl in and buckle the twins in, get into the drivers seat and BREATHE. ugh. I think that's the hardest part about going anywhere. This winter is going to be hard.

I live in a small townhouse that we grew out of a long time ago. I would drive myself crazy if I thought about this too much. Hence the husband working a lot. I hate complaining about this because i'm so grateful to have a home, but I want a home I can love and decorate and paint! I'm hoping next year this will happen. :)

I have a 5 year old going on 14, as awesome as she is, she has this little attitude coming out and i'm terrified!! I was pretty sure the toddler years were the hardest, but now i'm not so sure.

Anyways, my point is. Life is not perfect and these are only a few things I deal with on a daily basis. I had to adjust to being a mom of 4 before I was ready and it's not easy. I'm so blessed. SO blessed. But it's hard. I completely understand why people say being a mom is the hardest job in the world. It's emotionally, mentally and physically exhausting.
Am I discipling this right? Then I need to stay on top of the discipline (you give em an inch they take a mile), then I feel like i'm too hard and not being a loving mom, so I do something such as surprise them and make them playdo and they fight over what color to make it! It's a crazy circle and some days I wonder how i'll make it through. We do have awesome days and have so much fun, we are such a happy family and I love us so much. I have the worlds most patient husband. I would love to hear what goes on in his head some days because I feel like I can be a challenging wife who complains a lot.
I'm grateful for my sisters who listen to me vent pretty much every day. I've been blessed with an amazing friend who has been through everything i'm going through and I swear without her support i'd be way worse off right now than I am.

I didn't want this to be a "poor me" post but I needed to write it out. When I feel something, I write about it.
I'm done. :)

I made pumpkin cookies today for the first time from a recipe I pinned on pinterest and i've been wanting to try them for a while. They are awesome. All 75 of them!! Who knew one recipe could make that many FREAKING cookies! Hilarious.