Let's be honest

First of all, this little peanut is already a month old! I know right?

How do all our girls end up with blue eyes, and neither Dustin nor I have them? I have green and he has brown. Kind of random.

So Laken is doing great! I know most of you will hate me for this, or i'll just jinx myself, but she has slept through the night since the day we brought her home. She usually wakes up to eat once and goes right back to sleep. We are super lucky. All our babies have been awesome sleepers, so I have no complaints there!

Although some days I look like I haven't had ANY sleep.

It's time for the "let's be honest" part.

It's been a little emotional around here this past month. I don't hear many women talk about the postpartum emotions, but i'm going to. It's been a little hard. I am super sensitive and emotional these days. It's not every day and some days I feel completely normal, but if I get a bad day, i'm pretty sure everything could make me cry. I have no appetite and have to force myself to eat. I feel like I could go all day without eating and not be hungry. But of course I eat no matter what, since I have a baby to feed. I don't think i'm depressed and I don't feel like I want to stay in bed all day or have any bad feelings towards the kids, the emotions are the hardest part. I'm pretty sure it's just the baby blues. It's been a little better this past week and I have a doctors appointment on Thursday so i'm going to see what he says. I'm pretty sure it's normal and i've talked to a few friends lately who also felt like this so it makes me feel better. I never have had this after having a baby so it's all kind of new to me. I know it's temporary and it's normal so i'll survive. I just wanted to write about it a bit so I remember what it was like and it's not easy to admit how "hard" life really is sometimes and I think that's why i've been a little MIA lately. I also think sometimes I feel like i'm a failure to admit things are hard. But there. I did it.

I am having quite an interesting time adjusting to 4, it's a lot of freakin work! I thought I was busy before, but man, it's INSANE now! Who ever said going from 3 to 4 is not a big deal, they can eat it. But then again not everyone pops out 4 kids in 5 years!

It's just busy. I think i'm busier now and it's harder now than when I had the twins. Maybe it's because when I had the twins I was expecting the absolute worst and it was always better than I expected. Or something like that... But 4 is busy. Laken is a great baby, but she is still a baby and needs attention, fed, changed, held etc etc. On top of that, I have fighting girls, messes constantly made, kids to get dressed and ready every day, Kyla driven to school every day, bla bla bla. The list goes on. I think at least once a day I reflect on what's happening at that moment, such as picking stickers off my kitchen table for a good 15 minutes, or rushing out the door to get Kyla from school and Laken pukes all over me and her right before I put her in her car seat and think "Is this really my life?" then I laugh about it.

So that's our life lately. I'm crazy. I know.

Here's Kyla being such a good babysitter.

I'm so proud.

At least she put the baby to sleep before going to sleep herself, right?

Speaking of sleeping, this is how Laken likes to sleep, it's how she always ends up.

I guess that's all you get. I have a hungry baby and a whole container full of yogurt that just got spilled all over the floor.

I am a strong person. I can do this!

I think.