I do

I feel like since I'm 30 now I can say I've learned lessons and teach others. So I'm pretty much a professor or something. 

I'm pretty proud of my marriage to my husband. I'd say we have a good one going here. I have been with this guy for 12 years, I think, and I've learned a few things over the years on keeping our marriage going and happy. Here's what I've learned. My Mindy lesson for the day. I gave one on Facebook yesterday so here is today's.

1. This is definitely number one. 

You have to communicate! Like for reals. Every frustration, every appreciation, every thought. Tell each other them! We all know I'm a huge open book so my husband gets that too. Poor guy. But I'll tell you a not so secret, secret. Guys aren't the smartest at reading women so you kind of have to tell them. Word for word. It's a fact. Sometimes I'm all annoyed or mad and he's like, "why are you mad?" And I say "you seriously don't know why I'm mad?" He says, "uh no..." Which makes it more annoying and me more mad. So don't do that. They don't know! I think I've finally accepted this  myself. 

2. Get to know each other. Everything! Know their limits of when to stop being a B to them. Or when they are worn out and need your support. Pay attention to their needs. Everyone has them. Like I need a massage every night. Sometimes he fails at this and then we go back to number one again... It's ok, this brings me to number 3.

3. Forgive each other! We've been over how the men are not perfect and neither are we... Ok we are like this close to it right? Maybe I could like make his lunches or something. Nah, I'll choose something else. I already have 5 kids to feed! Feed yourself you grown man. 

But on a serious note we all mess up big or small so no ones perfect. Accept their apologies and get over it. 

4. After you have kids, work harder. We are a prime example. We had a posse of children and one day it was like, "oh hey there person sharing my bed, who are you again?" Like seriously, you forget you're married. You can't even have a conversation until the kids are in bed and most times I work or he's on nights or we are wiped. Or... Ahem, I watch my shows. But whatever. 

Anyways, date yo man. I'll say it again, communicate! Make time for each other here and there. Dust makes an effort to text me more and sometimes even call while on a break. Like once a month... But I'll snap chat him throughout the day. No not of that you pervs. I'll send what the kiddos are doing or how cute Parks is again bla bla bla. 

5. Laugh. I've been kind of a crank lately with him on shut down which he's now done and I have realized that. I'm working on it and not snapping at him or being "feisty" as he calls it. I'm getting back to my happy place and away from my running away place. Being a mom is hard sometimes! 

6. Look good for your spouse! I got to a point where I was lazy and didn't care what I wore or looked like most of the time but I realized I want to look good for my man. I cared when he married me so I put that effort into my hair, makeup and clothes. It seriously doesn't take long once you get a quick routine down. I'm working out and trying to get into shape. For him and myself though. I've had a few health issues arise this year so I'm trying to live a healthy lifestyle because I'm not getting any younger! Anyways just make a little effort like put on your cuter sweats and tshirt. So. me. What? I said effort. That totally counts. 

7. Grow with your spouse and not apart. This is big too. Everyone changes, no one stays the same person in 10-30 years and so on. I'm definitely a different person since Dustin married me and so is he but we grew together and accepted those changes. I mean to a point. If they become a major ass then that's not ok. And women get your hormones in check! I'm definitely more "feisty" these days compared to the old ones which I feel bad for sometimes. Kind of. Whatever at least I acknowledge it. What is it Dr. Phil says? First you have to acknowledge the behavior then change? Meh. Baby steps counts. 

Anyways those are my thoughts. My husband can drive me mental lots of times. Did I say lots of times? He's like a giant child. I have 6 children actually. Except I don't make his lunches... I probably drive him nuts too, he laughs at me a lot. When I'm angry and going off he just laughs and says he wishes he could record me. We balance each other. He's more laid back and I'm not as much or however you would describe me. "Almost perfect" could be one way to say it. 

I asked him the other day "are you sure you wanna be married to me forever?" He laughed and then asked me. I said "well I'm kinda stuck, we decided to have a colony together." 

I'm kidding, I wouldn't want anyone else. For real. He's perfect and so amazing to me all that mushy stuff, I definitely married my best friend. 

There's some things I have learned so far. Now taking appointments for counseling. You're welcome.  

Family Photos

To say I've been busy is an understatement for sure. I seriously can't fit everything in that I have going on. I'm trying to work, Dustin is working overtime, back to school, baby who had pneumonia and in and out of the hospital, softball playoffs, the normal mom routine etc etc. 

BUT I had to stop and post our amazing family photos we got taken on holidays. I have been so busy I haven't even looked at them for days! That's bad. And you don't even know how excited I was for them. 

I cannot WAIT to blow these up all over our new house in a few months. 

I am so proud to say this is my family and  to have these photos of them means the world. Professional photography is worth every damn penny. Plus Parks can now be on our walls. Poor kid. He's nearly one. Oh well. I had to wait to get photos with Kelsey who we went to before and I will only go to her. She sees my vision EVERY time and as a perfectionist myself that means a lot. I told her what I wanted and she nailed it. Thanks so much Kelsey!

Anyways, I'm obsessed. Enjoy our faces. 

Putting my foot down

When I first got married I was a small human. Like 110lbs. That was normal and it came naturally. So that was me and I was good with that. Then I had my oldest and gained a lot with her. Lost it all within 3-4 months, didn't do a thing to lose it. Twins, same thing. Laken, same thing. Then two years after Laken I got hypothyroidism, so I gained a few pounds and I was SO hard on myself! I felt huge. I think at most I weighed 113lbs. Now I had my boy. My weight has NOT come off of me like the others and it literally broke me down. I felt gross and disgusting and every person that looked at me I thought they were judging me on my weight. I've never been through struggling with weight and I couldn't handle it. I then decided to change my life, eating and working out here and there. Now let's be real. I have 5 kids AND work. I do not get to work out as often I can and you know what, that's ok! I eat healthy as much as I can. I'm actually becoming really good at it! I'm proud of myself. I went in for blood work for my swollen joints thinking it was rheumatoid arthritis and came back as hypothyroidism again and worse than before. It sucked. But I knew I would have to do what I could with it. I went on meds and even started brown seaweed extract? Who knows, I suck at taking it lets be honest but it's supposed to help with thyroid. So we will see. I figured that's why I wasn't losing my weight and wanted to blame it on that but this whole thing is bull. It's bull crap!! 

This is NOT ok! It's not ok I think this way and it's not ok I feel this way! I have had 5 children out of this body. I've breastfed the crap out of these breasts and I've stretched my body 4 times for these 5 kids. Why the hell am I feeling like I need to be on the cover of the Victoria's Secret magazine? I shouldn't! I am healthy and I work out when I can and I don't give a rats ass how skinny I am. I will wear what I feel good in and I will be happy being healthy in my own body because this is life! This is reality! There's no photoshop in real life. 

I have learned and come to realize these skinny and in shape people first, don't have any children, or they work their ass off for their body. And you know what, that is awesome for them. I would love to be like them and maybe one day I will. In the mean time lets smack a bitch (myself) to reality and be happy with what I've accomplished! This world is so messed up with image. It is NOT ok! 

If you are doing your best to be healthy, because you are only given one body this life, then that is good enough. Who cares what other people think. Who. Cares! 

I have such a strong opinion of this. Maybe because I had to go through the whole acceptance thing and I'm slowly working to my goals I have for myself and realize how hard it really is. I've never had to do that and I appreciate that. I have all the respect in the world for those who can discipline and have the time for that. I know it's attainable but you know what, my baby is not even 10 months old and if I'm 10lbs away from my pre pregnancy weight I'm ok with that. We as women go through so much to have these babies. SO MUCH. 

I went swimming today and looked in the mirror and could pick myself apart with what I didn't like. How sad is that? I want to have a healthy body and I'm getting there but why are we so hard on ourselves? I don't wanna be in the picture, I hate my arms, I hate my legs, I feel like my face is fat when I smile, I have a muffin top in these pants... Those are only a few things I thought to myself the past few months. It sounds so bad when you say it outloud! 

If you are living a healthy lifestyle then who gives a crap about what you look like?! Be happy with who you are, be CONFIDENT in who you are. Confidence plays a huge part in how you are perecpted. No matter what you look like. 

Please love yourself. Please take care of yourself and just be happy! Because your kids don't care what the scale says. They care that you're happy. Teach them that life isn't about your image. 

I've heard too many women be hard on themselves lately and it makes me sad to hear it. When they say it, I think, ya that's me too! Then it clicks, why do I think like that? I realize how sad it is. 

I think, the only person who cares about it, is you. 

You. Are. Beautiful. Beauty comes from the inside remember? 

And I'm done. 

Ready

After a lot of back and forth debate if I should blog this or not I decide why the hell not? 

I do not live life to any ones expectations but my own. My husband and children are the main and most important thing in my life.

We live with love, we live with caring, we put others first and teach manners. We teach with love and kindness (well except at bedtime, like really kids go tooooo SLEEP) we teach how family is the most important thing. That there are rules and consequences for your actions. You be grateful for what you have. Set goals for yourself, aim as high as you want, because you can achieve anything you want too! You support others even if it's not what you think to be right. You be kind to everyone, no matter what, but also stand up for yourself and don't let others walk all over you. 

Love your parents, they make mistakes and this is their first time being a parent so cut them a little slack if they mess up. Love your dad because he works his ass off for this family. Love your mom because she's going crazy figuring out how to be a good mom every day, all day and doing the best she can. 

Aim to find the best husband possible, someone who treats you right. Who is motivated to provide for your family and treat you like gold. Someone who you also respect and look up too as a man and father. 

Go to school and get an education, work towards something. You only live once so make it a count. 

Forgive others. No ones perfect and people mess up, forgive them for the mistakes they make. Forgive yourself and the mistakes you make because you will but don't live with regrets. Mistakes are there for you to learn from. 

Don't sit around and wait for someone to hand you life, go get it yourself. Be inspired in everything. Learn from everything. 

Be healthy and active. Have fun every day. Laugh at things and learn to let things go. Don't worry until you have too. Love your family and be there for your siblings. They are the only ones who will always be there. Family is so important. 

With all this being said. These are just a few things we try to raise our children with. We are not perfect parents we just do what we know is best for us and our children. I feel like there's been a huge elephant in the room for a few years now which has really been behind the scenes even longer. Dustin and I have left our church. We are more than happy with our decision and we know there will be speculation but we don't care. I am an open book so feel free to ask me anything. I won't debate and I won't persuade others to live how I do but I know this choice was the best choice for us and we have never been happier or closer as a family. This has been a journey for Dustin and I for years. That's all I want to say about that but I felt it needed to be put out there because there's a side to my life I always feel I can't talk about because of how I've been raised or other people in our lives. 

There have been so many supportive people with our decision and we are really grateful for that. We appreciate respect from others and we also respect others. 

I hope and pray to be the best parents we can be to these children. I hope I can be the best wife I can. I have so many goals in life I want to accomplish and with this family I have, I know I can. I have the hardest working husband I know. He's more than my husband but my best friend. I'm so grateful we have the same goals and desires in life, that's rare to find. I'm definitely one of the lucky ones. I'm lucky I could have 5 children. I know there are people who can't have children of their own and I never take a day for granted these little people are mine. No matter how crazy or stressed out I get I wouldn't change it for anything. It's worth it. 

We love every friend and family member in our lives. There are some amazing people in this world. 

Love everyone and remember you only live once... So make it a good one.

 

Schools out

Schools out! So you all know what that means? We have to entertain all of the children ALL of the days! 

So many people couldn't wait for summer holidays, while in the back of my mind was...Disaster in the house all day. All the kids around ALL day. I have to keep them happy ALL day! When you're used to majority of them gone to school you kinda get down time and the house stays clean for like two hours... Then you eat another meal. But you can even do laundry AND fold it. I know, amaaaazing. I remember one time I even made banana bread... Just kidding I made it more than once. Twice. I made it twice. Just ask my sister how many times I had rotten bananas sitting on my counter and I would say, "I'm going to make banana bread." I ain't lyin. 

So today I took my kids with my sister Britt and her kiddos to the parade and then to Mac island events where it's INSANE. Oh let me point out last night I snapped my ankle while running across first base in softball and it may be sprained or broken or something, whatevs. So I wrapped it. That helped. Kind of. I nursed while we made it through the gigantic crowd, Kyla pushing the stroller and as we go I am constantly counting my kids. Isn't that why we had 5, incase I lose one we still have an army? Kidding. 

But I literally came back and had to lay down and I didn't move for like an hour. Kids fended for themselves and I was paralyzed. Exhausted. So I made the kids clean up (hello mystery clean up) and sent them outside. 

I then asked Laken what they wanted for supper. She said, "pizza!" (We like never have that...) and I said "I don't have any pizza" she goes, "uh ya you get it from the mailman at the door, remember?! I guess that's what mailmen deliver these days. 

So we had waffles. I really need groceries. Kyla said, "this is the best Canada Day supper EVER!" Jayci pipes up "ya it is because you couldn't cook anything so we got GOOD food!" 

Uh, thanks? Trust me, I would cook waffles and KD everyday and be the best mom in the world! 

So, since it's summer, "mom can we switch beds tonight?!" Sure. Then you're in bed by 730. Which turned to 8... Then they need drinks, they are hot, one stubbed her toe. Weird how that happens when you're in bed! One has a scratch on her foot from... Yesterday! One is freaked out by her sisters doll on the shelf. All the while I'm bathing baby so he sleeps better, he's teething and it's my favorite. So Dust just gets home, goes up and puts baby back to bed and helps one or two kids with what they need. Comes down, Parks cried again. He goes "ugh!" I said don't even, you just got home. He's like "I know the kids just need this and need that." Welcome the the past 2 hours Hun! TAP OUT. 

But in all honesty, we do have great kids. It's just sometimes insane! My girls will always step up to help and constantly help with Parks if he eat something off the floor or well, eats something off the floor. He's like a vacuum. If it's food I really don't care! 5th kid guys, at least he's getting some nutrients with his grazing right? 

Kyla's a little mom and the twins have really stepped up lately and it's great. We do live in a small house for only a little while longer and they know how and where they should help. We did their lemonade stand this weekend again and I asked them what they wanted to save for this year. Last year they saved almost $200 for holidays. They all said to buy a house. It was amazing. They understand how things don't come free and you have to work for them. We are grateful for Dust working all he can and me working while raising these 5 kids! Trust me it's not easy working lately but I'll do what I can to help. I want to get to an amazing place in my career one day so baby steps for right now. 

Anyways, Happy Canada Day friends!! We sure have awesome people in our life and are grateful for every single one and to live where we live. My husband has an amazing job where he gets to work overtime and has opportunities some don't. We've worked hard to get here and are thankful every day for that. 

I think all my kids are asleep so that means I can go to sleep too! Ha ya right. 

Night all. 

Random ramblings

I am sitting here waiting for my son to get tired so then I can go up to my room and work. So why not blog? I was going to clean but meh, it's over rated. Besides its just going to get messy again anyways in the morning. 

So lately I've been a single mom. It's been fun. But not. We have had so much going on lately, it's crazy! At this moment I don't remember what that is specifically but I tell ya we have been busy. Dust has also been working lots of overtime. The weather is warm and I am LOVING it so I get outside as much as I can! Go with friends to the park or walks or BBQ's and just be outside everyday all day. I already have a tan and it's May! So happy.

 

Ok let's talk about it. Post. baby. body. I could get into the perks of it like the cellulite, the stretched out belly that ain't ever going back or having to throw your boobs up over your shoulder to wash your stomach... Those things are all super fun and all but this is a little different. 

I have had a MAJOR struggle this time around bouncing back like I usually do. Maybe my body's like, eff you, you had 5 kids so this time you actually have to work for it. Last pregnancies I was super lucky to bounce back within 3 months without working out or eating healthy. It was amazing. This time not so much. So I guess I have to actually try, like most people... I know poor me right? I wasn't the best with exercise while pregnant either. Definitely regretting that. I have never exercised actually. So now I'm more than I have ever weighed and it has been so hard on me! Like I would think about it all day, every single day. It was bad. I was embarrassed to go out of the house and when people looked at me I hated it. Isn't that bad? I was so unhappy with myself. So I decided to make changes but I tell you, it's not easy and it definitely doesn't happen overnight! A lot of it is a mental thing I found. You have to change your entire mentality of life. I decided to start with my eating and it's been a gradual thing and now it's become a habit. I never thought I'd be a person to say that! I no longer crave sugar or junk or pop. I WANT healthy food and I love it! I'm slowly losing my weight and I'm finally feeling confident again. I have had to over come that obstacle of thinking it's about a number but it's not, it's about how you feel! I definitely am not where I want to be but that's ok, it's a work in progress and I'm willing to work to get there. I workout as much as I can but even just a 20 minute circuit at home with weights makes a huge difference I've found. You don't have to run for an hour on the treadmill for it to count! I'm finding it hard to get the time to work out between my busy life and working now but I'm making it happen. I don't know how to explain it all and it's not about looking amazing (well kind of that) but it's about a lifestyle! It's SO important. I want to live a long and healthy life for my kids so I have to start now. I told Dustin I had kids all in my twenties and now my thirties are going to be about me. My work, my body and healthy goals, being in the best stable place of my life. We all know how unstable you are pregnant... So I've learned how important it is and i've learned how hard it is to get there! 

Anyways, I wanted to share what I've been going through because I can't believe how hard it's been on me losing my baby weight. We are so hard on ourselves and it's not fair. I do not want to raise my kids like that. It's not about being skinny it's about being healthy. I am so proud my kids make healthy choices and they know how important it is. 

I want to take some before and after pics but not quite yet. Maybe soon! 

In other news, who hates cooking supper lately? All in agreement say, "I". I'm on my own food diet schedule so my kids get a totally separate meal and it's driving me mental. I need to find a balance. I eat a lot of salmon and my kids hate it so I have to plan this stuff. I have no motivation left some days! Speaking of motivation. My kids have NOT been listening good lately. I decided we needed to make some big changes fast. I decided to no longer be their friend but their mom. So I took away the iPads and Wii U and Saturday I gave them a ton of chores. They were in TROUBLE. I was so worn out of yelling and saying things a hundred times so it was time. Guess what. It totally worked! I left for Laken's gymnastics and the 3 girls were left doing the chores and I firmly explained why they were doing this. I was at my whits end and I even started crying. I was so worn out by being mad all the time that all I could do was cry!

 I came home and the house was clean! Before I left they asked what they do when they finish what I told them to do and I said then find something else and clean that! So they did they even swept the bathrooms! I came in and Jaycis like "mom, we are going to listen to you the first time you ask us to do something." It was AMAZING. I can't believe it worked! Since then it's been a huge difference! Parenting is freakin hard. It's exhausting and it can be chaos and it is seriously the toughest job in the world! It's a challenge for me on a daily basis. I'm no perfect parent and I always feel like I should be better in so many ways and feel so guilty but one day at a time right? I totally got this. 

I've got my husband and Dr. Phil, so I'm set. 

This baby is not going to sleep so I can work. It's like he knows. Daddy's on night hundred and moms exhausted and he really doesn't care. Thanks baby.

But seriously, look at that face. He's the bomb. Being a mom really does rock most the time. But I would be lying if I said it wasn't the hardest thing I've ever done. 

 

Cram em all in

The children I mean. In our house. Our tiny townhouse. What were we thinking?

Right now this baby hates sleep. He's like, hell no guys. I've let him cry to sleep for naps which is like 15 mins, yay. But bedtime... He shares a room with Kyla so she comes out in minutes "I CANT SLEEP!" Poor girl. So she is in our bed and he's crying it out. This is the first night I've let him cry at bedtime. Now before everyone gets all judgy on the CIO (cry it out) as people call in now, I did it with all my girls and it worked and they could sleep through a tornado. So there. 

But anyways, the other 3 girls share a room as well. These rooms are side by side. You can see how that goes over well. 

We are buying a house this year if it kills us!! For reals this time. I CANNOT wait. But really when trying to buy an $800,000 house it doesn't happen overnight. So we decide to have babies instead... 

This house NEVER is clean. If it is it's when all the girls are in school and Laken doesn't move. It's messy in literally seconds with this many people. I don't know how we are doing it in here but we are! We are amazing. I know. Just kidding, I know people have it worse than us, bla bla bla. So I'm so grateful for our home. Actually no I can't even write that out, it's a lie! I hate this house. 

Both of us are working as hard as we can this year to get our house. Our realtor will hate me because I know exactly what I want. Yes "I", because really all Dustin cares about is the basement layout and that we get a garage, which is where he will proudly display all his hunting. Those animal heads are not allowed on my walls. He married the wrong girl for that. Like can you say, nightmares?! Creeeepy. Plus we all know how much I love animals... 

Anyways, that's what we are up too lately. I've said this before but we are taking donations. 

Anyone? Anyone at all. Someone's gotta feel bad for us enough don't ya think? Some rich oil guy maybe. We tried winning the dream home, nope that plan didn't work. I guess we actually have to work for it now. Stupid. 

It's all stupid guys. Anyways I am nursing Parks to sleep again... That worked well didn't it? 

I was hoping to blog longer but this will have to do. I have so much to update on. Next time. 

For reals

Sometimes I vent. Ok fine, all the time. Hey talking is good. Keeping it in, bad guys. 

Life is so repetitive! 

Let's feed the kids. Clean the house. Who am I kidding, like tidy the one main floor people see. Change the baby. Throw the laundry in, oh hell I forgot to change the laundry over last time, redo laundry. Feed baby. Baby nap. Maybe shower? Clean house... Again. How the eff is it noon already?? Feed kids AGAIN. Clean up mess from feeding said kids. Remember all the things you remembered while in bed last night. Wash daughters gym wrist bands, she's asked like a hundred times. Try and feel like a good mom and do something productive with the kids. Ha just kidding again, go play on the iPad...in the basement. Why do people show up when the house ISN'T clean when I clean it ALL THE TIME?! I just vacuumed and the floor looks dirty. These damn couch pillows and blankets are over rated and NEVER properly stay put. As if I live in a show home and they stay there. Hilarious. When did I mop last? Or clean the upstairs bathroom shower? Does it matter it gets washed every day anyways when people shower right? K cool. Line up shoes, hang up coats. How is it supper?! Cook supper. No one likes peas, or this sauce... It has RED things in it. Well duh. I should have known. Eat it or starve. I am not a Resturaunt peeps. Home work. Tidy rooms and get the bleep in bed. 

That's not just one day specifically, more like a jumble of random things but I am TIRED guys! So tired. When the husband works all this overtime to buy us a house that I swear will never happen... It's exhausting. We have the worst luck. (Taking donations at any amount by the way, maybe I should do one of those go fund me things. I'm sure people will feel bad for us and donate right?) But he works his ass off for us and it's great and all but man my sanity pays for it! 

I don't want to seem like life is always rough because it's not! It's just busy. Non stop. Sometimes I just need a break. I need ME time!! I don't even remember what that's like! Dustin gets to leave everyday and be himself at a job. Today I told him I would totally go in for him, I could forsure be an electrician. I'm smart, I'll figure it out. I think some day soon I will be locked up and gone cray cray. I feel it comin. 

Maybe I just need a house. Somewhere to stay organized with some space. I think we deserve it. I don't know what to do different lately but just keep going and we will get there. We chose to have these 5 little people and would never trade anything for that but sometimes it's so frustrating just when we think we are getting close, something else comes up. It's funny once we get into a house how much money we will actually save each month. It doesn't make sense at all but it's true. We will be on the housing plan with Suncor but it's just getting there. It's so frustrating and I don't know what else to do to get there but we just keep plugging away taking one day at a time and staying positive. Some things are so easy for some people and some things are so so hard!! I would just love for it to work out for us this year. I have the hardest working husband in the world. He would work day and night if it was offered to get us a house and he does! I'm so grateful for his career and our future he has given us. It's been a process but I know it'll be worth it. 

These little people are the best thing that have happened to us and if we have to live in a box I would because some people have it way worse than us so I try to be thankful for what we do have every day. So these days where I can barely function I'm so tired and worn out, it's so worth it. It really does sound crazy doesn't it. All that chaos and stress each day is actually worth it! 

There is nothing in life without goals. To constantly get better and somewhere new in life. I always life live as if it's our only chance at everything because It really is! You're only young once and you only live once, so make it a good one! 

I realized this was a very personal post for me, more than usual because it hit a spot that eats at us daily and I've shed many tears over. I know everyone has their struggles and ours are minor compared to many. I'm grateful for what we do have. I see it in these 5 faces every. day. Love them. 

And I need a nap. 

International woman's day

Guess what... I'm blogging so I'm bored as can be! So since today it's International Woman's Day. I, of course think about how amazing of a woman I have become. 

Just kidding. 

I actually did reflect on who I am as a woman and had some thoughts come to mind.

This year I turn 30 and I can't say enough how much I have learned in my twenties. 

I had 5 kids, including twins, moved a few times and have done numerous small companies etc. But none of this can explain how much I've grown as a person and how I've become who I finally think I'm meant to be. 

I reflect on myself a lot. Am I a nice person. I think so. Am I forgiving. Depends how bad you piss me off. Am I patient. Ask my husband. Am I happy. Ask my therapist... kidding. 

These are some things that are important to who I am so I'm constantly working on them and more, many more.  

There's one thing I have learned that is so important in becoming a good mom and wife and that is to take care of myself first. I used to think it was selfish but I saw the downfall when I didn't take care of myself. I went through some postpartum after having Laken off and on and it was really hard. I realized who was there for me in life and who I can really rely on in times of need. I also learned how important it is for me to be happy and healthy in order to be the mom and wife I need to be. If times get tough, which trust me they do, I make sure I do not let myself get to the point where I'm sinking. I have amazing sisters, an amazing husband and an amazing sister in law who I would say are my most important people I can rely on. Sometimes just talking it out is all I need. Holding it in just makes you crazy. Sometimes it's literally Dustin taking Parks while I cook and clean. Who knew I would actually WANT to do those things but just being me in my own head while I focus on a task truly helps escape the chaos sometimes. I mean I'd take a spa day too... Ahem, Dustin. 

I am in NO way perfect. I get impatient, I yell at my kids, my house is never 100% clean, we have kraft dinner and sandwiches for lunch way too often, and I don't sit and read to my kids every night. Hell I don't even read. That's why we have Kyla. But you know what, I never stress about these things. I don't stress about the small stuff and that makes a huge difference in my life. I also don't let other peoples stresses or drama get to me, it's not allowed. If it doesn't affect my husband and kids I brush it off.

Another major thing I do want to touch on is how much I've let go of what other people think about me. I used to care. I cared about the choices I made in life if people approved of them but I (we) came to the realization that no matter what choice you make in life, there will always be someone who doesn't approve. ALWAYS. So we choose what's best for us and our kids and that's all that matters. No one else's opinion matters. This has changed our life in the best way and we are the happiest we've ever been! It's amazing when you start living your life for you and not others. It's also cool to see who accepts you for the way you choose to live! 

I can't explain the amount of growth I have done in the last 5 years. I'm still Mindy, and I still feel like I'm 16 questioning who gave me all this responsibility! But, I'm becoming everything I WANT to be. I try to be the best of me I can be everyday and that's all that matters. I hope I can set an example to my girls of what kind of woman, mother and wife they want to grow into. Even if it's one thing they look up to me for then I will feel like I've conquered the world. 

Friends for life

Alrighty. My favorite time if day. Bedtime. It's teachers convention week and I have a house full of kids with croup. So as Juan Pablo would say, "es not ok". 

Plus it's night 3 of night shift for the other half. But we are surviving. On top of this all, I've cooked supper every night. I know right. I deserve a medal or something. 

So anyways I want to do a post of a few things about two of my favorite people. Jayci and Presley. 

When I was pregnant with these twin girls I read a book on, well, twins. One thing that always stuck with me is they talked about them being individuals and how to not group them together all the time as the "twins". I mean of course I call them that here and there but I have always tried not too. When they were born it was fun to dress them in twinner outfits that were two different colors but as soon as they started school I wanted them to be separate people so I no longer bought them clothing that was the same. If I do it's shoes or jackets or something like that but I try not to get the same. I can't handle spending twice the money on the same shirt and pants. I'd rather buy two outfits and their wardrobe has more options. So you can see how it's been great lately when all they ask is that they want to dress the "SAME MOM". Well that bit me in the ass didn't it. Well too bad. So they find things that are similar. 

It's so great how close they are. They are best friends and love spending time together. One time we were sitting at the table and Presley was asking if her and Jayci could have a day with just them and no other sisters around so it could be their twin day. So I planned this entire special day and went all out... Who am I kidding, I totally forgot like 5 minutes later until right now. Whoops. Clearly she did too... 

I was debating splitting them up in school next year but they really don't want to be so maybe the year after. I want them to become separate people and find their own group of friends and see how it goes. This year there are 3 sets of twins in their class! All girls! So they are actually really best friends with the one set of twins. It's awesome. Oh they also have a "friend" named Andrew. They have this little love triangle between the 3 of them. They talk about kids having crushes but of course they don't have a crush on anyone. You should see Presley's face when we ask. Straight as can be with a little "no" and she will not crack. BUT they both draw him pictures and his mom sends me pics of them. I die. 

It's funny how it doesn't really feel any different having twins now. Compared to them as babies hauling around two car seats, nursing two at the same time (for a year), waking up in the night to two babies. All that stuff is over and we just have two girls who look alike and are the same age! The other day I got asked if they were triplets. Them and Kyla... The two girls are so tall. They are in the 99 percentile for their height. Guess they take after their dad and Kyla takes after me. We always said it would be funny to see how tall our kids turn out with us two being so drastically different. 

Anyways this baby won't stay asleep. It's like why bother going to bed when you're going to wake up anyways. It's harder being woken up, right? Ya right, I love sleep. I'm so happy my kids can get up and fend for themselves for breakfast and let me sleep. They rock. We taught them how to pour a bowl of cereal and turn on the tv like as soon as they could walk. So smart. 

Well off to get this boy back to bed then watch real housewives. One of my favs. Getting entertainment out of other peoples drama is the best. Too good. And maybe I'll change my shirt. I've smelled like baby puke for a few hours now. Good thing my husbands not home or he wouldn't come near me. On the other hand maybe I should wear this shirt tomorrow again... 

I'm off. We love these two sweet girls. They really are beyond thoughtful and have the biggest caring hearts I've ever seen. Makes me one proud mama!