Grade one!

Oh man. This week has been a little rough! Kyla started Grade one yesterday! I was an emotional wreck. I have NEVER been like this before with her starting school. But I think it's the thought of her gone ALL day and she's taking the bus with all the big kids, instead of a couple kindergarten kids. And grade one is the real deal! The night before I had to take her to her dance orientation thing and so we got home a little later. The other kids went to bed and I asked Kyla if she wanted to have a shower. She always just has a bath with Jayci and Presley but I know she's old enough now to shower on her own. She was excited and jumped in. I came downstairs with Dustin and broke down! I held it in for so long and couldn't do it anymore! Dustin kind of laughed at me and then hugged me. Dustin had to leave to a job and he told me to go up because he thought she'd need help out, so I grabbed a towel and went up. I went in and was talking to her and she's like, "why are you crying?" I said i'd tell her after she was out, and she says, "Is it because i'm getting big?" I kind of laughed and said yes. She then asked what I was doing, so I said I was gonna help her get out, she said, "I can do it by myself." So I said, "ok do you want me to leave the towel here then?". She said, "Yup!" and I turned around and walked out and lost it. That was when I realized how grown up she is. She was just my only child, my baby and now she is the oldest, the big sister and the big girl in full time school now!
I don't like how I can't protect her from mean people, or see what she is doing, and I hope she is always open with me if anything happens. I'm not worried about her making friends, she's just like her dad and has friends everywhere and not an enemy in the world. She's so patient and kind to others, she never judges and includes everyone. She stays away from people that she doesn't want to be around if they are using bad language or doing wrong things. I couldn't be happier with the person she is. It makes me feel like we've done something right.
I took her to school and held it in the whole time. I did so awesome! I came home and got a little teary eyed but I think I let it all out the night before, so that helped. ha. The twins start on Sept 10th and we'll see how that goes....
So here is Kyla's first day of GRADE ONE!!

In a big girl desk!

 

Laken just made herself comfortable

 

Emma is in her class again, yay!

 

And so are some of her other friends!

 

So that's her first day of school. I'm such a proud (emotional) mom!!

"It's only temporary"

This has become my new catch phrase for our life lately.
No one tells you how hard life can be. In many ways. I've always been one to stay positive no matter what the situation and try to remind myself that others have it way worse than me. But here is my life as of now.

We live in Fort Mcmurray. My husband works a 10 and 4 shift. (10 days on and 4 off) He is going to school on October 1st for the LAST TIME to get his ticket. Hallelujah. We have 4 beautiful girls and a good size rent payment. We want to buy a house but we want to wait until Dustin is done school so we can afford what we need, and not some tiny starter home. I think it's about time I deserve a "home". I've never felt at home. I have never felt like we've been home. I live a very disorganized life in a tiny townhouse with 3 bedrooms. I try my hardest but I've actually come to the conclusion it's impossible to stay organized and have a clean house! I'm ok with that. Well sort of...

As soon as Dustin gets his ticket, many doors will open for him and this is what is keeping me going. Dustin has now started doing a lot of side work. Pretty much he walks in the door around 6ish, eats, sometimes showers and goes to another job and doesn't get home until 10-11 at night then showers again. I have also started to get super busy with my photography which I am super excited and overwhelmed (in a good way) with the amount of emails I get to book with me. It's an awesome feeling. So if I have a session, Dustin gets home, I go shoot, then come home and he leaves for a job.

We try hard to get some us time to go on dates etc. But lately it kinda sucks. I feel like a single mom and i'm trying to do it all and keep my head above water with the housework/kids/errands/cooking etc... And try to have a fun summer with the kids! I know this is only TEMPORARY so we can afford to live off no income while he's in school and i'm SO beyond grateful we have the opportunity for all this work.
I was talking to a friend and she said she was talking to her friend who just moved from here and she said we don't realize how good we have it in Fort Mac. There are so many people who are having a hard time finding work that we are so lucky. I totally agree. I can't believe the opportunity there is up here for us, or for anyone.
I miss my husband every night. Thank goodness I have editing, my shows (Love my shows!), and my sisters to talk to on the phone to keep me occupied but I think the hardest part is running our life on my own. I can not wait for school to be over and we can move on from this step of life!
I'm nervous but so excited to move forward with my photography. I have so many things I want to accomplish with it and i'm ready to do that. To finally do something for myself! I've been wanting to do something for myself for a long time. I LOVE being a mom but I needed something to define me as an individual. I did go to hair school but I don't have a desire to go back to that. So now I finally found something I love to do. I know every one is doing it, but it's something I love so I don't care! We'll see where it takes me!

Man it feels go to let it all out! I'm done now.

Later!

It's been a while!

This is probably a record for me for how long it's been since i've blogged last and I don't really have a good excuse why. We've been busy and it's summer so any chance we have to get out of the house, we do!
Oh well. Let's move on.
So i'm not sure if i've posted on what's been going on with Jayci. A few months ago she got sick with really bad tonsillitis. Her throat was almost shut and she had to go on steroids and antibiotics. A couple days after going off her antibiotics her throat swelled up again, this happened twice in a row. The third time he didn't give her antibiotics because obviously it's not good to be on that much in a row. So he sent her for an xray and I guess she has really bad swollen adenoids. He said when her throat was swollen you can hear her breathing in her throat when she's relaxed. Almost like a snoring sound. I mentioned that she's been doing that since she was a baby. When the twins were babies we would go in the room and check on them before we went to bed and we knew who was Jayci because she was "snoring". We thought it was funny but I mentioned this to the doctor and he wanted to send her to a specialist in Edmonton.
So two months went by and we hadn't heard anything from anyone about an appointment. So I was getting worried because her throat is almost shut all the time, and he said if it swells again to go to Emergency. So of course that worried me. So I called our family doctor and they said they had an appointment but didn't call me yet because it's so far away....as in next year. It was in January, ugh. So I got the specialists number and called myself. I left a message saying how I was worried it was getting worse and wanted to get her in sooner. So they called me right back and had a cancellation for August 8th, which was 10 days away! I took it.

So last week we headed down to Edmonton! We went for 3 days and had a lot of fun! We saw the specialist and they booked her for surgery to get her tonsils and adenoids out on November 2nd. Makes me a little nervous to have her put under and get it done but I know she needs it and she'll be so much better afterwards. So Dustin and I will take her down and she'll have to stay the night in the hospital afterwards and it'll be a 2 week recovery for her. I know it's a pretty common surgery but it still worries me. I normally never worry about stuff like this but for some reason when I think about it, I want to cry! I know she'll be fine, it's just the mom coming out in me. ;)

So we shopped forever of course! Got a ton of cute back to school clothes for the girls, took them to Galaxyland, and swam a lot in the hotel pool. It was busy but fun and the girls had a blast at Galaxyland!

Here are some pics from my phone first, then my camera. So they are all out of order and I don't really care.

Going swimming with the crazies!

This picture kills me. They had their mouths open the entire time, it was hilarious.

Chillin in the hotel.

This is Lakens new face when you say "Laken cheese!" She is such a nerd.

Kyla is a freak. She wanted to go on all the scary rides! This was her favorite one. I went on it with her and she'd been on it once with Dustin the last time we were there and LOVED it so this time I went. I screamed the whole time and she just laughed!! She's crazy. She also wanted to go on the mindbender (The huge rollercoaster) and drop of doom...

On the other hand....

Presley is on the left and when we were going, she says "mom my hands are really sweaty!" She was holding on for dear life and I told her to relax and sit up. Nope she didn't move the entire time. She was frozen solid hunched forward and not letting go of that bar. Hilarious.

Jayci at the specialist. She did awesome! This picture makes her look way too grown up!

Had to make a stop at the new Disney store. I don't know who was more excited about it, me or them. Definitely not Dustin though. All he sees are dollar signs... ha

My cute fam on the merry-go-round! (Laken Loved it!)

The train!

And this is what happens when you forget swimming diapers.

I didn't even know it exploded till I stripped her down. She was covered!

Now pictures from my camera...

Love this family of mine.

She's growing up

Makes me want to cry when I think how fast Laken is growing up. She is 16 months this week and I don't like it one bit. She is a huge highlight in our lives and we love her so much!

Here are some photos I finally got out to take of her tonight! She just loves being outside, free, running around!

 I love this rich black and white one.

 My ultimate favorite one... 

This shows her personality to a 'T'!

See ya later mom!

 

Love. Her.